In the interest of full disclosure I have not read the book Fifty Shades of Gray and do not plan on seeing the movie. However, according to Wikipedia, “Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic romance novel by British author E. L. James. It is the first installment in the Fifty Shades trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM).” Now, the movie version is set to be released on Valentines Day, Saturday, February 14th, 2o15, an ironic release date in that, as far as I can tell, it has nothing to do with true love. By now you may have guessed why I am not interested in either the book or film. But I am concerned that the book, which has been a best seller, and film, which has been eagerly anticipated and hyped by the media, are yet further examples of the downward spiral of our society. And, as is typically the case things of this nature lead to lifestyles and acceptance of behavior which ultimately dishonors the men and women we were created to be. The following article regarding the movie by Michelle Lazurek is a warning for daughters, and actually all of us, regarding the film and relationships. The article appeared first at: MovieGuide.org as: Don’t Let ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Lead your Daughter Astray: A Concerned Mother’s Response. Michelle S. Lazurek is a pastor’s wife, Bible teacher, mother, author and speaker. She gives discipleship tips on her weekly blog (www.discipleshiptoolbox.wordpress.com). You may visit her website at http://www.michellelazurek.com. RMF
Don’t Let ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Lead Your Daughter Astray:
A Concerned Mother’s Response
By Michelle S. Lazurek
I’m writing you this letter because I love you. You are the apple of my eye and it is my responsibility to teach you what it means to be a woman. I am proud of how wonderful you have become. As you grow up, you will begin to date and engage in relationships with members of the opposite sex, but I feel I must warn you about how you should act in your future relationships with men. The movies you may watch do not portray women in a positive light. Hollywood does not view you the same way that God does. God wants to liberate you and allow you to be all you can be. He wants you to see yourself as special so you, as well as guys will cherish you as a special gift.
On the eve of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie premiere, I feel I should teach you what God has to say about women. If you don’t know already, the movie features the main character Ana Steele, who finds herself attracted to a sexy CEO named Christian Grey. She finds herself repulsed yet intrigued by him at the same time, but Christian wants her to participate in acts that degrade her and rob of her of her rights as a woman, as God’s child and as a human being.
Daughter, I want you to know that this is not the way God wants you to view yourself as a woman or as a human being. Here are some lessons I want to teach you about this movie:
Bondage keeps you locked up, it does not set you free: God created sex to be enjoyed. The euphoria enjoying your body creates is a glimpse into the intimacy God wants us to share with Him. Tying you up, and spanking does the opposite of what the book is trying to achieve: it suppresses you; it does not set you free.
Lust does not equal love: Ana knows Christian was not good for her, yet feels drawn to him anyway. Although they break up, she finds herself longing for him…distraught she has lost someone she loves. Engaging in a sexual relationship creates feeling of bonding between you and your mate, the feelings of which are easily confused for love when they are really lust.
Pornography is not healthy for any relationship: Approximately forty million men currently watch pornography on a regular basis. Men who need to watch porn become addicted to it in order to achieve arousal. Soon your relationship won’t satisfy. You were uniquely made to be loved and cherished; not used as a means for a man’s source of arousal.
Biblical submission is not the same as sexual submission: In a healthy marriage relationship, each partner submits to each other out of respect and love for each other, but there will be times when you have reached an impasse in the situation. God calls you to submit spiritually in those situations for the health of your relationship. This is so you can find a solution that unites you, not divides you. Allowing yourself to be whipped and beaten for the satisfaction of your partner is far from achieving unity. It takes away your right to establish and keep healthy boundaries regarding personal and physical space. It is never ok for a man to make you do anything you don’t want to do. If he does something against your will, it is not your fault: it’s his. This movie blurs the lines between what is healthy for women, and what is not.
Abuse begets abuse: Ana finds out that the reason Christian is obsessed with perversion is because his mother’s friend abused him when he was 15. He assumes this is how all healthy sexual relationships work. Because it happened to him, doesn’t mean its ok to do so to you. He believes these acts are abuse, and that’s exactly what they are. Punishing an adult by physical force is abuse. Abuse is abuse, and allowing someone else to do it to you mars your perception of what a healthy sexual relationship is.
Daughter, you are a beautiful woman. You are adored and loved by God. You are beautiful simply because you are you. You are not a piece of trash to be dominated, abused or degraded. One day a man will love you for you, not for what you can do for him, sexually or otherwise.
Michelle S. Lazurek is a pastor’s wife, bible teacher, mother, author and speaker. She gives discipleship tips on her weekly blog (www.discipleshiptoolbox.wordpress.com). You may visit her website at http://www.michellelazurek.com. RMF